July 2024 Parable

Carry that Weight

Adam Calder, Produce Manager

I was out on the sales floor stocking some avocados the other day, and a customer came and stood quietly next to me. With two shaky hands, she was clutching a bag of baby carrots in front of her like a shield, her face twisted with torment.

I asked her if I could help her, and she blurted out “I am so sorry for the interaction we had during covid.” This confused me. I did recognize the customer’s face because she is a frequent shopper, but I did not recall having a negative interaction with her, and I told her as much.

She said that one day, at the beginning of the pandemic, she approached an area I was stocking and asked if she could have some of the produce I was putting out. I told her that I was nearly done stocking, and that if she waited just a minute, I would be done and out of her way. She didn’t wait, and instead stepped closer to me and reached in front of me to get the item she wanted, and that it made me agitated.

Again, I repeated that I did not remember this interaction, but also that my boundaries for personal space increased greatly during the pandemic. It did bother me when people violated those boundaries, and I was not shy about letting people know when they did. I apologized to her for snapping at her during that encounter, and she stopped me mid-sentence.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, and you didn’t snap at me,” the customer said. “You were very clear about what you needed, and I just wasn’t listening, and I feel terrible about it… I want to apologize.” At that moment, I was so surprised I likely could have been knocked over with a feather. I admired the integrity and the courage of this person, trembling with fear but adamant that she needed to apologize because she thought she had disrespected me years ago.

Looking her right in the eyes, I told her that it was all water under the bridge. The pandemic was difficult for everyone. It pushed a lot of us out of our comfort zones and into unfamiliar places that were frightening, and that we all have said or done things we regret. I thanked her for her integrity, and for the compassion it took for her to seek me out and tell me she was sorry for how she behaved.

The look of relief that washed over her face was cathartic, for both she and I. Had I never asked her if she needed help, she likely would not have spoken with me, and I never would have known this unassuming person was carrying around such a heavy weight.  It made me feel fantastic that I could help relieve her of that burden.

The experience was a good reminder for me to not assume I know what people are thinking and feeling when I see them. You never know what kind of burden people have pushing down on their shoulders, or what kind of emotional weight you might be able to help them lift just by asking if you can help them.